she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
