thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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