did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
