Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
