chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
