He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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