Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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