Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
