I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
