Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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