Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
