in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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