it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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