Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
