another moral hangover. fuck.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
