Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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