I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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