She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
