We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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