the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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