Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
