she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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