I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
