David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
