Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
