in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
