I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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