Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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