Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
