its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
