It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
