to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
