oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
