i think my tv is drunk
Your dad touched me again.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
