I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
