I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize