Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
