tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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