I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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