i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you win again, gameday.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
