worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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