your thong is hanging out like whoa
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
