Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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