me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
