so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
