the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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