she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
