Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
