I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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