I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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