peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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